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Individuals get stuck. Groups get stuck.
Organizations get stuck. We all have a sense
of what it means to be stuck as an individual.
Have you ever sat down and listed all the
pro’s and con’s of a decision and
still come away undecided? Managers and coaches
regularly deal with people locked in an impasse.
In fact the very nature of coaching dictates
that people will bring some of their stickiest
problems to their coach. Individual impasses
can give us clues as to the dynamics at work.
An impasse implies that contradictory
forces are operating within the person or
the situation. Motivating forces impel us
to achieve our wishes and goals. However,
they are countered by forces that keep us
from moving forward. These restraining forces
are meeting some sort of need. They may well
be the products of fear and operate to keep
us safe. Although they provide some benefit
to us, they have unintended consequences,
much like the side effects of drugs. To
break through an impasse a person must pay
attention not just to what she wants to happen,
but what is holding her back. What are the
interests being served by not doing what she
wants? What is her investment in remaining
in the impasse? Successful solutions must
take care of these interests. However, individuals
will have differing levels of awareness of
these forces and will vary in their capacity
to acknowledge them. One person may
be able to articulate the forces affecting
her dilemma and own the problem as something
she needs to work on. In this case much of
the work is done. She has probably thought
of a number of options, none of which satisfy
her. Most likely, there are interests that
she perceives as contradictory and cannot
contain in one solution. For instance,
an individual was struggling with her dissatisfaction
about her job which she described as routinized
and stifling. She yearned to use her creative
potential. Talking through her options, she
realized that she associated financial security
with her job, and creativity with quitting
her job. She wanted both security and creativity,
but she thought of them as mutually exclusive.
She had not considered making her job more
creative. When she realized this, she went
to her manager about expanding in her job
and got his full support. Later, she developed
her own business which used her talents to
the full. A second person may only focus
on his wish for change, yet make no progress
towards his goals. He remains in a state of
wishing for an impossible dream. In this case,
the person must start working at the impasse
at a deeper level. For instance, an
executive complains of being overworked. At
the same time he has had feedback that he
needs to delegate more. So he worked with
his coach on plans for delegation. However,
weeks pass, and he has not moved on them.
Clearly something else is at work. He is most
likely experiencing fears he has not been
able to articulate. Perhaps he cannot figure
out how to break up a project into tasks?
Perhaps he is worried about how to deal with
work that is not up to standard? Perhaps he
has fears of letting go when his name is on
the line? Anyone’s state of progress
towards goals at any point represents an equilibrium
between hopes and fears. Hopes push us forward,
fears restrain us. Our fears cannot be underestimated.
We will take care of our fears, often at the
cost of our wishes. If they are not addressed
in some way, they continue to sabotage our
efforts. A solution needs to serve the needs
of our wishes and our fears. In this case
the manager needs to name his fears and find
ways of insuring that they are taken care
of in any solution. (Stock Whitaker, 1985) In
the most difficult kind of impasse, the person
may see herself as a victim and blame her
situation on others. Such a person often creates
a great challenge for others, because they
will want her to change, but she sees no need
to. The restraining forces serve powerful
needs, and are deeply entrenched. So,
we might shift the example of the manager
who had difficulty delegating and have him
say: "No matter how hard I try, I can’t
get them to do what I want. They just don’t
care. I am the only one around here who will
put in the effort. As earlier, his fears
prevent him from moving forward, but he does
not accept the same degree of ownership for
his role in the impasse. His personal fears
get projected out and identified as ‘facts’
about others. If he is to break through, he
must become aware of and accept that in some
way what he does or how he does it elicits
the response he gets. However, the victim
pattern is probably well established and integral
to his self esteem. Groups and organizations
can fall into similar dynamics. They can be
stymied by contradictory interests. They can
put themselves into a victim role. They can
have a great dream that they never seem to
be able to pull off. Forces are operating
at the group level to serve unacknowledged
needs and fears which also need to be faced
and resolved for the group to move forward.
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